i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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