Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
