i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
