love makes seman taste better
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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