just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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