There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
