He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
