I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
