i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
