Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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