Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
