think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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