i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
sarcasm needs its own font
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
