Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Randomize
