hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
