Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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