Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you would pick up someone in the library
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
