You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Fuck appropriateness.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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