he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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