i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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