Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
zippers are such a cool invention
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
