Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
