glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
