Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
