i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
