I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
that's an acceptable place to lick
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
