Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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