I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
