I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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