my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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