hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
