is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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