fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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