i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
