I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize
