i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
