HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Duck Duck Cougar?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
