Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
