Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
