She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
