I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
