Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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