hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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