Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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