I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
There's even glitter on my cock...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
