using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
