Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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