i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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