I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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