Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
