he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
